You must be present to win...
I have commented before that it is with great irony that when we make an intention to do better, the Lord shines the spotlight on every instance in our life that reflects this weakness.
Just one of the ways I was busted last weekend at Alchemist Class was that I "don't show up 100% in life". Another way of saying that is that I "check out" at important times, at difficult times, pretty much when ever I darn well feel like it.
This isn't news to me, I mean I have been aware on some level of my unconscious wanderings, but when I made the statement, "I want to live 100%", well there were angels taking notes.
This is how my unconsciousness and my desire to check out manifested itself within 24 hours.
On Sunday I received some tragic news that the daughter of a friend had been killed in a bicycle/auto collision. (Carolyn’s friend Patty… I don’t know if you remember her..) This hit me very hard, and I consciously tried to feel all that I was feeling. However, late Sunday night Brent and I were watching TV and I don't even remember the show, but the final scene showed a woman in a hospital bed in a coma. I looked at that and thought to myself, "Cool... a coma." Red lights and sirens went off in my brain. Talk about a checkout!
Monday morning I am doing my hair, thinking about this whole concept of being present. I have a set routine, I use one brush to preliminarily dry my hair, and another to finish it off. Well, I was so not-present I used the first brush too long and I had really bad hair all day.
Then I'm thinking about Robbie... my son who would rather spend six months in jail than do a 3 hour class once a week. Gee, I wonder where he learned to check out so well?
Then I start noticing about how I wander during my prayers... my mouth keeps going but my thoughts are everywhere. Check out. Scriptures... my eyes read the words, but I'm totally checked out. Driving? Well, we all know what auto-pilot means - checked out.
OK. so I get it. I check out all the time. Now, would You please help me with my intention to be present, to show up 100% in this life? I got the first part of the equation, now I need help with the hard part.
Just one of the ways I was busted last weekend at Alchemist Class was that I "don't show up 100% in life". Another way of saying that is that I "check out" at important times, at difficult times, pretty much when ever I darn well feel like it.
This isn't news to me, I mean I have been aware on some level of my unconscious wanderings, but when I made the statement, "I want to live 100%", well there were angels taking notes.
This is how my unconsciousness and my desire to check out manifested itself within 24 hours.
On Sunday I received some tragic news that the daughter of a friend had been killed in a bicycle/auto collision. (Carolyn’s friend Patty… I don’t know if you remember her..) This hit me very hard, and I consciously tried to feel all that I was feeling. However, late Sunday night Brent and I were watching TV and I don't even remember the show, but the final scene showed a woman in a hospital bed in a coma. I looked at that and thought to myself, "Cool... a coma." Red lights and sirens went off in my brain. Talk about a checkout!
Monday morning I am doing my hair, thinking about this whole concept of being present. I have a set routine, I use one brush to preliminarily dry my hair, and another to finish it off. Well, I was so not-present I used the first brush too long and I had really bad hair all day.
Then I'm thinking about Robbie... my son who would rather spend six months in jail than do a 3 hour class once a week. Gee, I wonder where he learned to check out so well?
Then I start noticing about how I wander during my prayers... my mouth keeps going but my thoughts are everywhere. Check out. Scriptures... my eyes read the words, but I'm totally checked out. Driving? Well, we all know what auto-pilot means - checked out.
OK. so I get it. I check out all the time. Now, would You please help me with my intention to be present, to show up 100% in this life? I got the first part of the equation, now I need help with the hard part.
posted by Lianne at 7:29 PM
3 Comments:
I get this. Maybe not checking out, as I tend to over-involve myself in everything, but the spotlight. Sometimes, I fear that prickle of conscience that tells me to be better because I know God's plan usually involves a trial or two. Not that I'm unhappy once the lesson is learned, but the middle....yikes.
Try Ridalin!
It's called Adult ADD.
Lynn
Vision is the ability to see what is.............not yet revealed;
Vision is the ability to see................through haze,
............revealing what is.........
………is to see….
……..is to be…….
Shadows
Dancing
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